Today...

Today I am just counting my blessings. Sometimes I think it's needed for one to be reminded of how grate life truly is! Soooo...  Let me dig my PC for those Pics...

I am grateful for... My Parents, 

I am so thankful for my amazing parents. Who have sacrificed their lives, beyond understanding. So that we could have a better life. So... Thank you mom and dad, for all you have done.

I am grateful for.. Sisters!

There is no friendship like the one of a sister. Thank you Andressa, and Larissa. For being my sisters, I love you!

I am grateful for... December 13th, 2003.

That was the day that I married my best friend, I will always be thankful for that day, and for him. 

Honey, words will never be enough to tell you how much I love you. But I will try with this very familiar quote. "I have loved you even before we came to this earth, and I will love you throughout eternity." You have far exceeded my expectations for a husband, father, and you know everything else that you are.

I am grateful for... Spencer Nicholas... 

In 2006 made me a mother, you will always be special son. You have a purpose in your life, and very special journey ahead of you. I hope I can always walk along your side, and protect you. Know that you have been wanted and loved many years before you were here.

I am grateful for... Stephanie Elizabeth...

In 2009 you again made a dream come true, every mother needs a little girl. And you have made life a bliss. You are beautiful inside and out. You too have a special reason to be here at this time. 

 

I am grateful for... GOOD Doctors... 

They are very hard to come by, and I love my Doctor. Without him I don't know that I would have had Stephanie when I did. So Thanks Doc.

I am grateful for... Our House,

This is where we are building our family, This is where we come to, to be aways from the world. This is our haven on Earth. And how blessed we are to have it. 

I am grateful for... Friends!

What is life if you can't share it with those you love? Friends are an extension of our families. I treasure friendships, and I am grateful for all the ones I have. Love you guys!!!

 I am grateful for Eternal Families... 

Yes! There is nothing more calming and refreshing then to know that we are a family for ever, Yes! Even after we die. Why should something as beautiful as this end in a box under dirt?  

I am grateful for... A Savior.

Some one who has done the ultimate sacrifice for me. How could I not be grateful to Him. He is there and has always been there, has carried me through many rough patches of my life. He is My savior and my redeemer, He is the reason I have so many things to be grateful for. So it leaves me no choice but to say... I love him for all of it. 

"When upon life's billows you are tempted tossed,

When you are discouraged thinking all is lost,

Count you many blessings name them one by one, 

And it will surprise you what the Lord has done."

Negativitycillin

Blog Facts
This post may be read while bored or while busy. 
Do NOT read this post, if pregnant or have a child who is under the age of 5 years old and believe that it's okay to have a gun laying around the house.
Keep out of reach of children's ears.
In case of over offended, get medical help. Or simply get over it.


Directions
Adults
only...........................May read this post and get whatever out of it.........................One time only.
Children under 
parenthood....................Do not read it. You just might not understand.


Other Information

• This post was written out of frustration
• I simply don't really care if half the world thinks I am crazy for thinking this way

Questions or comments? 1-800-justwriteitdownthere
(Mon-Sun12am-12pm EST)


Warnings
This may offend some people and if it does I am sorry, but this is my blog and I am using one of my amendments. 
For a more cohesive reading, ignore the picture and red letters and come back to it later.

............................................................................................................

We LOVE play dates....

If you made it this far you want to know what the fuss is all about... And to soften the blow, I am adding some candy for the eye. Pictures of My kids...

I have a few things that I am terrified of. GUNS, SWIMMING POOLS, and a few others that I rather not mention here in case... Just in case you are a weirdo that is stalking me. 

Girls stick together amidst the boys...

Let me break it down to you:

Swimming Pools: No I am not afraid to go swimming, I am not afraid of the water at all actually. I am a very strong Swimmer. And if I may brag... It is the only thing I can beat my husband in. So why the fear??? When I was about 7 years old I saw my father who is actually a stronger swimmer jump in the water at my grandmother's house to save my 2 year old sister who was now at the bottom of the pool and not moving... I saw her pale little face and motionless body come out of the water... I remember the horror in my mothers cry, the desperation the feeling of total loss of control and guilt. Fortunately my father was able to give her CPR and after a few seconds water shot out of her and little by little she came back to us. 

Now you may think... WELL where were the parents??? Why were they not watching her??? They were... at least they thought. We were all, mom, dad and I, we were cleaning the car feet's away from the pool. It took less then 60 seconds while they were vacuuming the front seats, and they looked up and she was gone.

I also have a cousin who when she was 18 months old, wondered out of her room after a nap and without the baby sitter seeing. Jumped in the pool, unfortunately it was too late by the time she was found. WELL, You may think... I have a fence around my pool, or I am always aware of the door to the outside.  They not only had a fence, but they had a wall that separated the back yard to the pool, and a small gate that had one of those sliding locks on it. But all it took was an older sibling forgetting a toy by the pool and leaving the gate slightly open for a tragedy to happen and an older child having to live with that guilt forever. Do you think that a few days of fun in the pool is worth the chance of that happening?

Black Berry Smoothies Anyone?

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. So no!!! We will NEVER have a house with a pool. Because I am terrified of it. And for the record it feels ok to me, to have a small plastic one, and even an above the ground pool without a latter.

This is her MAD face when you tell her... NO!

GUNS: I hate guns... Until I met my husband I had never even touched one, and I was terrified when he told me that he owned 3 of those brain blowing thingy magigger. He grew up in Wyoming... So HELOOO!!! Of course he has them. I cannot convince him of getting rid of it.(I think it makes him feel manly to know he owns one)  So we still have them, the kids do not know we have them, and they are locked in the storage room above the house. 

Who Knew A single Slice of Pizza could be soooo messy.

I believe it was my father or it may have been one of his 4 brothers... who when he was little found my grandfathers gun, which he knew that he had but had to spend a little time looking for it. And had used it times before, to go have a good old time as a father son activity. Well he found it on the top shelve of the closet, and was showing his younger brother and the gun went off. It literally missed his brother's brain by a few inches and through the wall it went. Hum... SO here is the conversation that got me mad... Unfortunately I am guilty of having a facebook and I go in there when I want to see how narrow minded and ignorant some people are. This following discussion went on.

But just leave it up to Missie and a Messy she will do.

Ignorant fellow friend #1:

Since when are pediatricians asking parents if they have guns in the house?? There's a major story in the news about a family who refused to answer that question and the pediatrician promptly discharged them from his care! Last tues when (daughter) got her shots, they asked me as well! Since when is it any business of theirs?

ME: Since children started shooting their siblings for irresponsible parents who don't have them locked.

 Another and yet just as ignorant fellow friend #2: Actually Vanessa...it would be parents who don't teach their kids to respect them. I saw a lot of unlocked guns in Utah, including rifles in the bedrooms of teenagers...never any stories of shooting because those kids were properly taught to respect them and that those rifles were NEVER touched unless they were out target shooting or hunting with their father.

Ignorant Fellow friend #1: Which is how I raise my kids: to respect guns. They're scared to touch them! I let them shoot the smaller .22 and they've seen what destructive power and how loud my handgun and shotgun are.

Oh!!! Look Mom what a great Idea....

So you can tell I did not even reply to that one... RIGHT? 

Here are my thoughts.... First of all, why is Utah the roll model for the world? Hum... Lots of good people there but even worse people there too.  And Second, I am not talking about Teens, obviously if a teen wanted to shoot something they would find a way... I am talking about the little ones, you know the ones that you tell them 10 times that its hot and still they touch it... or the ones that fall down the stairs every day, and yet think they can do it the next day. The ones that would take a gun because they play cowboys all day with the plastic ones that WE give them... Well how cool it would be to play with DADDY"S cowboy gun.

I think it must be a kid thing... I never wondered how that would feel.

And final thought.... If you are so good at teaching them to respect the guns... SPEND that skill teaching them to respect their mothers, and fathers, teach them to respect teachers at school, and the elderly. And better yet, the name of their father in Heaven... How about that? After you have mastered all those by the age of 4. Please by all means Teach them to respect the gun that you can't take 30 seconds of your life and 

My Son... He owns a part of my heart.

LOCK IT UP!

I cannot imagine life without them.

I am sorry if I was harsh, I have very strong opinions. And I know I could not live with the guilt of knowing that I did not learn from someone else's mistake and facilitated the tragedy that took one of my most precious possessions... JUST SAYING!!!

Thanks Captain Obvious...

Ok! I am the mother of 2 kids. And its not for the lack of trying that I don't have more... Even though some people may think I should stop. Today as I got up (dragged out of bed) the thought of staying home from church sounded like a very good plan. After all I don't get anything out of church anyways... Not because it is not true or good. But like I said... I am a mother of 2 kids, and on Sundays I might as well be a single mother of 2 kids. I did not want to let Satan win, so I got up and got ready, and my 2 kids ready ALLLLL by myself. I know I am not the only one who does this, but I am having a pity party right now. I went to church, and made it there own time. 

Just about 15 minutes into the first hour, my son says very loudly... 

Mommy!!!! You have to change Stephanie.... She stinks. 

First of all:

Thanks for announcing to every one.

and second I told him...

No honey she pooped at home she could not have done it again.

She was now standing on the pew and facing backwards.... as he pushes his little nose right into her butt and comes out with a mortified face... 

Yep!!! She STINKS... 

That was the first time we got out of the meeting today... 

Call me whatever you want, but I do not believe in taking kids outside when they are being bad and letting them run around. To me it's like rewarding them for being bad. They will catch on very quickly that all they have to do is cry and out to play they go. When I take my kids out... They get punished and  put in time out until they compose themselves and back in they go. I know it may be disturbing to some sometimes, but you know what... KIDS are part of Gods plan, and they are the only perfect ones in there. SOOOO deal with it.. 

Anyways we came out again for my daughter to get her spanking and time out... Yes she is only 16 months, but isn't there a scriptures that says train a child when she is young in the way she should go? 

Back in we go... and minutes later back out, More Spanking and back in. So yes right about now, I could strangle my husband for being up in the pulped and not having to help, and yes I could strangle my kids. And the thought of staying home today should have been acted upon.

So the meeting was finally over, I don't remember what the talks were about, I don't even remember who spoke. Because in between going out and in I was coloring, feeding snacks, Telling my son to stop pushing his sister, holding a cranky baby, picking up crayons that somehow ended up 3 pews ahead, and cleaning smooched, snacks off the floor. 

I knew my kids were a little crazy today... and IT IS NOT always like this. I am pretty good at keeping the quiet. But we had a bad day. I did not need anyone to point it out. But of course... there is always that one single crazy old lady in EVERY WARD. 

Oh my... Dear, your children were very vocal today! 

OH Thanks captain obvious... I have never even seen you in my life, but thanks for letting me know that I am a horrible mom, who has no control over her kids. Thank you, I had no idea they were loud, I will try duck tape next week.

Please tell me I am not the only who gets nothing out of church sometimes!!! 

Blessings come in vials some times...

I have shared with every one my trial, and it is only fair that I share my blessing also... Yesterday I went to the Doctors office for a follow up. He suggested that 4 losses is something that we might want to look for answers as to why it is happening.

  I am actually glad that someone else things that way, I was ready for answers after the very first one... But that's just me. 

Well everyone knows that Health Insurance are a pain in the round buns, I was sure we could not afford any tests, and I was just going to have to live life in the unknown. 

My amazing Doctor asked his nurse to call the insurance and find out how much they would pay. Around 3 pm the same day, I received a call, the voice in the other line sounded surprised and excited.

Vanessa... 

Yes??!!

This is Nurse so and so... I have called your insurance and they will pay for all the tests, 100% and you do not even have a co pay.

I am sorry WHAT? REALLY? NO WAY! WHEN CAN I GO IN? Tomorrow??? REALLY? NO WAY?

So there... Who knew that a few vials of my blood would be worth $3,000 dollars, and my insurance would pay for it all. Blessings do come around every once in a while. 

I am excited to do the tests, even if we can't fix anything at least we will know why. I will let you know about anything we find.

How much can one heart take?

This is now my favorite song... It is from a new favorite CD, A Nashville Tribute to Joseph Smith. A couple of weeks ago I was able to go with my youth to a Youth Conference, with 7 stakes. There were over 700 kids there, and it was amazing. The conference started on Thursday, and up until that Monday I was super excited to go. However things changed very quickly after a Dr.'s appointment that Monday. Here is why.
If you have been following my blog you have read my entry from back in May, about Jesus coming to our home. If not go HERE
However when I posted that I left out a couple important points, #1 I left out the last sentence of our conversation. Spencer finished by saying: Yes mommy he brought Joseph for you! #2 Through out that whole day I thought about that last sentence, and around 6:00pm I took off to Walgreens to buy a Prego test. Sure enough 2 BRIGHT red lines showed up. I was amazed... I was not even late. But I was so excited to know that I was pregnant.
We did not announce to any one, due to my history of miscarriages. And for a month we prayed every night that the baby would be okay. That Monday I should have been almost 8 weeks pregnant. We went to the Dr. and had an ultrasound, just to find out there was no heart beat. AGAIN. The Doctor told me to stop taking the Hormones, and I would loose the baby with in 3 days. Great! Not only am I heart broken, but I am going to go through a miscarriage during Youth Conference? No other leaders from our ward would be there, as much as I wanted to call and tell them I would not make it. I felt like I owed to the kids to go with them. After 3 days of crying, and questioning my faith, I packed my junk and drove to Kentucky.
Upon arriving, they had a meeting with the leaders. I don't remember much about it, but I do remember them saying. You are here for no other reason then to serve the youth and Heavenly Father, try to forget your needs and your life for 3 days and devote every second to these kids, and you will be greatly blessed. Yeah easier said when you are not Bleeding to death, but if anyone needed blessings I DID. So I took it to heart, and went to my dorm and prayed that Heavenly Father would make it bearable for me to endure. I went with my kids everywhere, to every class, and devotional. It was amazing for me to see them grow, right before my eyes. It was fun felling like I was a kid again, and it was at a concert there that I silently cried my heart out. How much can one heart take? Is a song to Emma Smith, When you've lost your husband, and you buried your children, The angels stood in reverence as you prayed. Although my trials are not the same, at times I felt as though my heart could take it no more.  Through out that conference, I felt the arms of the savior surrounding me, comforting, and giving me the strength to be there. He testified to me many times, of the truthfulness of gospel, and his love for me.  I was not alone, he knew what I was going through, and although the reasons for my 4 miscarriages is still unknown. I know I have to endure them, it is my trial in life. The Lord answered my prayers and I did not loose the baby while there, the following week while I was going through the miscarriage. There were times, I wanted to cry, and scream, and just be mad at the world. However, every time that thought came into my mind, an overwhelming feeling of peace filled my heart. The though came many times to my mind, Just give your pain to me, and let me help you. When I wanted to fall apart, I prayed and gave him my pain. 
He took it, and gave me peace. I still lost my baby, I still don't understand. But I do know that God lives, I know that nothing else could explain the feeling that I had. I am so grateful that I have a Loving Heavenly Father who loves me and knows me personally. Who helps me through life, and blesses me in so many ways. So when all else fail, and nothing seems to go right. COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS. My husband is my rock, the one who holds me together. I don't know that many man would be able to do and be who he is. My children, with every miscarriage become a Grater miracle in my eyes. They are truly angel from above sent here to bless my life every day.
It has take me this long to be able to share this with the world, and although some may think that I should not be so open about my life. I have learned it helps me to talk about it, in my own time.


Moving on to something more uplifting, we had some fun times this past month. Lots of different activities that the kids enjoyed. Here are some of them.

Stephanie got her chance to go to the Bounce Barn

And she loved it. 

I have to say the slides were a big HIT this time around.

It was definitely Stephanie's favorite.

The good thing about having kids is... They give you an excuse to do things you would not normally do.

Stephanie got a potty, we sat on it for 15 min. then got up and peed on the bathroom floor.

Maybe we should wait a little longer. I don't know how my mom got me trained when I was 15 months old...

Spencer had some swimming lessons. By the end of last summer he was swimming on his own. So it was not hard to pick it right up again.

I am pretty sure there were only boys born in 2006.

He loved jumping off the Diving board.

The next day we went back just to play on the pool and he jumped off with my sister waiting for him. The life guard did not like that, so I told her to watch him because he was not afraid of going by himself. Sure enough he jumped 4 more times without anyone waiting for him, and he swam back all by him self. That is a 12 ft deep pool by the way. I am soooo proud of my little man.

He is ready for the summer.

Of course little miss could not stay out of the fun.

She had the whole pool all for herself. 

And who would not love that?

You see what I mean? She is a blessing.

Next we were off to Florida. Where she was mesmerized by the beach.

Beach Queen!

Am I the worst mommy if I admitted that I LOVE THIS PICTURE?

Going to Catch a waive.

He is such a good Brother!

Our 4th of July was a little different this year, Due to the rain and the unreasonable fever of 102.6 that Stephanie had for 3 days. We did not go to see the fire works. We stayed home, and went outside to see the illegal launch of surrounding neighbors fireworks. Which if I may say, I was pleasantly surprised at how good they were. After being there a few min, neighbors started to come out with fire crackers for the kids. They brought chairs, and drinks. A party started and it was a lot of fun.

This is my fireman, if you smell fire... Be sure that Spencer is near by.

My dad bought a set of drums last year... I think its a midlife crisis or something. But the neighbor came out with the guitar we brought out the drums, and broke out the music. We even had Star Spangled Banner. Life right there in our front yard.

Even the kids got a chance to play.

HUM.... EXCUSE ME!!!! Why are they feeding my kid that poison? Don't get me wrong. Nothing against COKE, but if you look at that thing... IT IS DIET CAFFEINE FREE COKE.... YACK.

I was debating if I should even mention this in public... But those of you who know me, are aware that I was born in Brazil. My husband is from Spain. So our children are made in the USA with Brazilian and Spanish parts. Anyways the world cup came along and we were pumped, Jerseys came in just for us to cheer them on.

Little did we know... It came from the wrong country.

If you follow soccer you know that Spain took the tittle this time around. Which I am so very happy for them.

So now we put in an order for red Jerseys, we will be ready in 4 year.