The Bitter Taste of Failure.

As I look back, and think of my childhood
I remember the little girl I once was. 

Dolls and Tea Pots filled my time

while I waited for the day to pass

a made up a world where I could fly

there were no trials there was no test.

As I look further ahead 

and remember the horrible teens,

The thoughts of boys and the desire to fit in

made life harder then it had to be.

How silly I was to think life was hard back then.

First year of marriage now that was fun,

there was not a week that would go by

that we would not fight and I would not cry.

Life was not bad, we were really blessed

the hardest part was 

to put away habits from the passed.

Now looking at my days 

I am a no longer that little girl

or that silly teen who wanted to fit in.

We now have our own habits, 

Together we created a life, 

Now I am a mother of 2,

a maid, a disciplinarian, a chef

a counselor in young women,

the wife of an engineer, pilot,

father, and counselor in the bishopric.

And today I sit here with the bitter taste of failure.

Because although I should be all those things 

I have failed in many of them, how can I succeed?

How can I raise obedient kids, who know their ABC's 

How can I have a spotless house when as I clean 

it's being destroyed somewhere else, 

by the kids I have no control over?

How can I have a home made dinner every night, 

when I know they will just sit there not want to eat?

How can I teach the young women to be a great wife and mother, 

When obviously I have no idea how to do that myself?

So is there an age in the future when eventually life becomes easier? 

A time when you look back and think... I have done something right in life?

Sometimes I wish I could still be that little girl, who had no idea how hard life would really be.