What is it about mothers???

From the moment of conception til who knows when... a woman gives up all rights to her body, mind and soul. To a child who will steel her heart faster then the speed of sound, because even before they make a sound we would already die for them. We put our bodies through the greatest change since we were being created, and then for the rest of our lives those little people walking outside of us; Decide when we are happy, sad, excited, angry, exhausted, stressed, worried, proud and so on.

From the moment we become mothers, we are overtaken a the greatest love and feeling of accomplishment. While at the same time overwhelmed with the responsibility, and work that it takes to raise well rounded, productive, responsible, children to adulthood. It is at that moment that all the silent little acts will take place, and will continue to for ever. 

Only a mother knows...

• That last week she ate burnt toast, cause she didn't want he children or husband to have to eat it.
• That she woke up with the baby 6 times just so her husband could be rested the next day.
• She didn't have milk with her cookies because her children wanted a second glass. 
• She sewed her pants for the 2nd time, because her children needed summer cloths.
• That she missed that girls night out because her husband had something else he wanted to do.
• She cried herself to sleep, after her children complained about something that she tried her best to accomplish.
• That she put her hair up on pony, so that her girls could look beautiful. 
• That sometimes she really didn't want just water with dinner, but there was only enough for the others at the table

The list can go on forever, these silent little acts are part of our everyday lives. We do it without thinking about it, they come natural for a mother.

We have 1, 2, 3 or however many little blessings we are blessed with, following us around. They are fully ours. How many of your husbands ask you if you will take care of the kids for him while he goes to work? However if you have something as important as his work, maybe a doctors appointment, or whatever. You have to find childcare. You can't just assume that because he is aware of it, and its his children just as much as yours he knows he will be watching them...

A woman, especially one without a degree like me. Recognizes that she cannot live without the work of her husband, that because of him she is able to cook meals for her children. She has a bed to sleep in and a roof over her head. All because of him, I know I can never and will never replace him. And yet I could be so easily replaced. Anyone can raise my kids, probably do a better job then me.

Our church teaches of the divinity of the women, how we are co-creators with the father. How we are the ones who can raise His children here on Earth. How we are to be the "protectors" of the home, we are the ones who are to keep the spirit of God within the walls of our home. However we need to do that by...

Cooking a balanced meal, keeping a home tidy and clean, cause the spirit of God cannot be where there is clutter. Managing a budget, food storage, visiting teaching, reaching out to others, family home evening, daily scripture study, family and personal prayer, helping kids with their school work, teaching them about the Gospel, supporting our husbands, magnify our callings, and this list too can go on and on.

How can I feel good about anything if the only thing that I am supposed to do, is a thing that no diploma is needed. And I can't do it. Or even worse, some days I have no desire of doing it.

Some days I do question the purpose of my existence, they say that the more you give of your self the better you will feel. Well I am here to tell you... I have given my self completely, to the point of not knowing who I am anymore. If you were to ask me: What would I do if I had 5 hours completely to my self, and money was not an issue. I have thought about it, and truly I don't know.

A feeling of total control loss, starts from the beginning of the day and it progressively gets worse. It seams like I am always trying to catch up, but I am never close. My thoughts are everywhere, I can't concentrate in one thing. And the overwhelming feeling of failure sets in, and a I loose it. Funny thing is, I can walk around and no one would know that I am .30 seconds from a melt down. I can make jokes, and laugh as if nothing is wrong at all. I can have a perfect night out with my husband, and not show that am dying inside.

Then I have these moments of clarity, and I look back and try really hard to see why I am so miserable. I have a good life. I have more then what I need and want. I am healthy, my children are amazing. My husband loves me. I never go to bed hungry. I drive a beautiful car. So WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME.

If you know. Please feel free to tell me, cause I am sick of it.

Safety or Stupidity...

So lets start out by saying... I am NOT a mom who goes by the book, actually I can't stand the book. What does IT know about MY child? Nothing that's how much...

I hate Dr.'s offices, I stay away from them like I stay away from poop. (well actually that's not a good comparison, Poop and I meet many time thought out the day) but you get it right??!! I hate it so much that my husband had to cough out blood before I agreed that he need to go to the hospital, and be diagnosed with Pneumonia.

Worst then going to the Doctors is to be reprimanded by the doctor... "You mean you don't know if your son can hop in one leg over 40 times?"

*That's right DOC, and here I thought cooking dinner and cleaning the bathroom was more important then counting hops. You see why I hate books? If I had read the darn book I would have know to count the hops, so that I wouldn't look stupid.

Anyways... after 3 kids i learned... Always answer what they want to hear. "Is your child out of the bottle?" *Absolutely... (nope, and she wont be for another 8 - 10 months) "Can she stack 3 or 4 blocks?" * Oh Yes... (actually we don't own blocks in my house... I got tired of picking them up)

So when this question came up... "Does your child ride in the rear side of the vehicle facing the rear where she will stay until she is 2 years old?" *** WOWOWOWOW... HOLD THE FORK. Did you just say 2 years old? "Yes they are changing the law... " Who is they, and if they are that stupid why are they involved with the law?

Seriously... Did anyone give this a second thought? Or a thought at all? Apparently they are already making car seats to accommodation this crazy idea. And I bought one, well every 1st birthday my children receive for their gift their big kid seat. And since we have a 10 hour drive next week I fully intended to do it with my 11 month old facing forward so she could be a happy baby. Happy baby = Happy mommy = happy driver with no road rage. But today for the fun of it I installed the space ship in my car, facing the rear.

Apparently my car is too small for this car seat, because I had to drive with my knees up on my forehead in order for the little metal ball to balance on the green. And just you wait... she will soon be smart enough to know that her siblings are watching a movie while she stares at a awesome tan colored head rest. And then she will scream her very loud lungs out. Oh and for the record I drive a Suburban, so if you plan to obey this ridiculous law. You have got to get something bigger. Good luck finding that.

So you tell me, is it safer to have one year old facing forward while happily watching tv, and a calm mother is alert enough to prevent accidents, or to have a crowded unhappy 18 month old, screaming while a mother stiff as a mummy, is trying to swerve the car she didn't see cause she was trying to calm her baby and trying to see through her knees? 

Yup that question is going to my, "Absolutely doc, she is facing the rear!!!..." of my head rest.

Just saying...

The pros of being alone....

You see this man??!! Well he turned 33 on Monday, and just that fast he left. At noon he boarded on a plane to Salt Lake City. At first  felt bad for the guy, I mean spending his birthday away from the family... That's sad right? Well a couple of days have gone by and I no longer feel bad for him. He calls me every once in a while, and tells me he misses me and the kids. And that the conference is as good as a conference gets... blahblahh blahblah blahbla

Truth is... He sees it as work, a work related conference. And in his free time he catches up with home work. Sounds horrible doesn't it?

Well this is how I see it. He is in Salt Lake City, at a Marriott with no kids sleeping soundly all night in a clean king size bed, that gets made everyday, by someone other then him self. He wakes up to an all you can eat breakfast, which he enjoys it without the kids screaming at each other and asking for more of whatever you managed to plop at their plate that morning. He then proceed to a conference and spends a few hours listening to something about his favorite subject... Airplanes. He goes out for lunch, a little more plane talk, and a nice complete dinner that he does not have to cook. Like... Cafe Rio (last night) or Rodizio tonight with my sisters boy friend, (which for the record... lets specify!!!  that he would not even know what a Brazilian stake tastes like if not for me. A BRAZILIAN...) tomorrow night he will join my sister, MY SISTER and her boy friend for an amazing dinner somewhere, and Frozen Custard. And on Friday he will go Snow boarding for the first half of the day before he needs to fly back to this zoo called home. 

Hard work I tell you. Do they have a conference like that for a stay at home mom? If not... does anyone want to start one with me? I think we should should plan one for the summer in NEW YORK. 

Anyways... the pros of being alone, is that I don't have to cook huge dinners. In fact Spencer planned the menu this week. We had Pancakes with blue berries, on Monday, Mac n Cheese yesterday, today some chicken wraps. tomorrow turkey burgers and Friday we will go out to a fancy little place here in town called McDs. Another good thing is, I have not lifted a finger in this house except to type, and click the remote control. the laundry is all clean on the floor of the living room waiting for it to be folded. The kitchen... well I don't know where it is anymore, I cant see it under all the junk me and the kids dragged in there. The table is buried by papers and color pencils, and the floor is a perfect place for Ms, Annabelle to have a picnic.  Now I know I am setting my self for disaster, the maid is gonna have to work extra hard to clean it up. OH and when I say maid, I mean ME. But for now... I will pretend to feel sorry for him, and his HARD work. Because, Well, that's what good little wives do. 

I'm on the edge...

Hello, my name is Vanessa... and I am about to reveal my dark little secret of the week.

*WARNING: From here on it's depressing, and it may change your opinion about me to worse.

Right now, I am shaking. I am about to have a major break down. My head is pounding, it has been since I woke up this morning. I am holding back the tears, waiting for my husband to come home in 30 minutes so I can turn on the shower and cry  under hot water until it runs out and I have to get out before I suffer from hypothermia. 

I have been a single mom, my husband has been out everyday this week till past 9 pm doing work or church stuff. Last week though he was home, he was upstairs doing home work until past 2:00 am. My baby is screaming right now in her crib, for no reason... and her cry has become THE most annoying sound in the world. I have no desire to clean or cook. In fact all I want is a few hours alone, ALONE. to sleep, and do what ever the heck I feel like. I want my mom. 

I have had to clean poop off too many surfaces this week. I am sick and tired of cleaning the same things everyday over and over. without any HELP. 

I dont know what enxiety attack is...

--------------------------&---------------------------

Okay... it is now 2 weeks since I typed that... It turns out I did have an anxiety attack, and if you have never had one.... It is a horrible feeling. As I was typing I felt my blood boil, and it was coming from my toes up to my chest, and it got to a point where I cried uncontrollably and felt like I could not breath. I then knew exactly what is was... My mother suffers from depression of and on, and she described that feeling to me and I knew then I needed help. I called her and she talked me through breathing and then through calming down. And the truth about me was out... Now I had to tell her, and my husband what a disappointment I really am. It turns out.... I AM NOT PERFECT.  I can't do it all, and although I would like people to think I can. It's not healthy to have to live up to my expectations of my self. I have spent the last 2 week re-evaluating my life, and I now understand that the only way I will ever be okay with the idea of not being perfect is if I let the world know my reality. The truth is... I am good in many things, but I am not the best.

I decided that best way to let everyone know who I am is here, if I start here it will be easier to live it. So as you see, I took off the pink and flowers and the frilly stuff from my blog. I did find this template, which is kind of how I feel lately, black and white with hints of color. I have good days and bad days, and some days are just days.

Hopefully now that I wont be trying so hard to have a picture perfect blog, and life. I will be more faithful to this blogging thing. I will come in my good moments and in my raw moments to share whatever and get it out of my chest. I understand if you totally never come back. I mean... who wants to be near a downer? not me I tell you... But unfortunately she follows me around lately.

I am not one to boast.

So.... I am not, well I try not to be. And if I ever came across as snobby or flashy, or what ever it is they call it in the street these days, I am truly sorry. It was not intentional.

I believe people like that are not very likable, and heavens knows that my personally is one that likes to be liked. Even though I do say things I shouldn't at very inappropriate times. And I have had to throw my foot up from the back of my throat a few times. I do try to be nice, and mindful of people.

Ok now that I have set you up into beliving that i am a humble person. I have to say that this post is all about bragging about my self. In October, I realized how unhappy with myself I was. I was just not me, nothing looked good, nothing fit good, nothing made me look how I like to look. I felt frumpy, and wow that's a bad feeling. For a weekend great but everyday of your life? Oh no... Soooo I could sit in the couch, and eat my problems away making them bigger problems. Literaly... Or I could get up and do something. Which I was ready to do.

I started with a goal, 20 pounds... I shut my mouth and started running, and dancing. (Zumba) Holy cow... You know how hard it is to start a diet in the end of the year? When all the food is out. 3 days a week, in the gym not stoping till I was out of breath drenched in the tears of my fat crying.
I felt so good, when I steped in the scale and pounds were falling off every week. In 2 months I was at my goal. But my goal changed, just 10 more pounds... And for a couple weeks I had cursed my self. Nothing came off. Soooo 5 days a week and finally 30 pounds later I am feeling great, I was able to fit into my prom dress room 2002. That's crazy, and if I can fit into that my wedding dress should fit too.

And even though I should be happy and pleased with myself... I just moved my goal another 10 pounds. And I got a month and a half to do it.

I think I can, I think I can, I know I can, I know I will.

Scream fat, scream...

1 thing about me...

There are a few things in life that I soooo could live without.

1. Folding Laundry
2. Doing Dishes
3. GROCERY SHOPPING

I am not sure why grocery shopping is such a burden, I have always hated. I don't know if it's because I am spending bundles of money is crap that will end up making my arms and boobs bigger, or if it is the pleasant environment, where everyone is so polite and kind that they will move (shove) your cart for you, kid inside and all, if heavens forbid you are on their way.

Because I love this task so much I have been putting it off ALLLL week. You know it's bad when your kids start their own grocery list, and not just of junk they want but real stuff like Pull Ups. TODAY was the day... I did not even go to the gym, I mean c'mom that's a work out of it's own. I spent my morning balancing checkbook, making a list, and menu. I took my energizing vitamins. And by 3 PM I was ready to go.

I opened the Garage and hooorayyyy, no car. No car that fits more then 2 people that is. Apparently today was the day that my car needed an oil change. So hubby took car, keys, room, mobility, and CAR SEATS!!!!????  And I was left with the lawn mower. (mustang) I mean it's just as small as a mower.

I have to admit, the thought crossed my mind. "well, that's it.... can't go grocery shopping." And if it wasn't for the fact that I needed to pick up my son, 5 minutes ago. I would have marched back in my house where I would watch tv, blaming the husband for not having food around. I opened the door of the car to find out that the back seat was covered in books, papers, joy stick, and whatever else he could fit in there. I pushed all the junk to one side and buckled both my girls into one seat belt, and drove to the school. And since we are in the car and I already prepared mentaly for this task. We went to the store.

NOW... We didn't go to PUBLIX, or KROGERS, or any other awesome supermarkets. Because in this tiny little town I live in, I am not sure it's worthy of the name town... We'll call it... a Gathering of people, "alls we  got round hears'a wamart!!!"

We walk in, to find that the entire gathering of people had the same idea I had. It was like a family reunion, of way to large people wearing way to little cloths, "strollin round n round, loadin up the junk and bears, just gettin ready for tha supper bowl sundy naght"

Anyways.... We go in, and like I said... I AM READY!!! I CAN DO THIS!!! BRING IT ON!!! Right after I prepare a bottle, and lay the baby IN the cart on top of a jacket. (no carseat remember) OK.... NOOOOWW lets do it.

BANANAS check
HAM AND CHEESE check
AVOCADOS check
ZUCCHINI check

I was blazing through this... "not bad" I thought, "they are not asking for anything"

BREAD che... "I DONT LIKE THAT KIND," well i don't care if you like it "WELL, YOU ARE MAKING SANDWICHES FOR ME TO TAKE TO SCHOOL RIGHT??" yes??!!  "I THINK YOU SHOULD CARE, SINCE I AM THE ONE EATING IT."  well in that case... Let's grab 2 bags of it.


BREAD CHECK
BOX OF CHOCOLATE GRANOLA BARS, no check necessary it was not on the list.
TOMATO SAUCE check
JUICE "I WANT APPLE JUICE"  "I WON WAN APPLE JUICE, I WAN RED JUICE" "NO STEPHANIE RED JUICE IS GROSE" "YOU GROSE"  Ok, we will get apple this week.
A BAG OF WHITE SWIRL DOVE CHOCOLATE no check needed on this one either.
CEREAL " I WANT HONEY CHEERIOS" "I WANT FRUITY CHEEOUS" 
BOX OF COOKIES N CREAM POP TART, not on the list

And an argument was created in every single isle from then on, We of course had to stop to pee, and amazingly enough both potty trained kids HAD to go. Spencer fell and got hurt cause he was calmly running up n down the isle. Stephanie had a HUGE break down, because she can not have Fairy Pull Ups, She must PEE on Princess Pull Ups only. And we grabbed a couple more things that were not on the list, like chocolate covered cookies, and some over priced buddy fruity, (glorified apple sauce) and it was now time to go pay...

$150.00 dollars later, I managed to fit me 3 kids and a shopping cart of Crap that will make my arms and boobs bigger. In a mustang with a library of it's own, even in the trunk.

I unloaded the bags and found something chocolaty in every single bag.

Next time I am tempted to go shopping with 3 kids again, I will grab a chocolate and read this post and let that desire pass. And from now on I will hit the awesomeness of WALMART at midnight.

The best thing in life...

When I was 12 years old my family moved to Deltona, FL. from Brazil. Where I lived for the next 11 years. While growing up, I remember all the sacrifices my parents made to put food on the table. To make ends meet. My father did everything from singing at weddings to selling and transporting baby chicks to farmers in Brazil. Now you may say that he went through all this because he does not have a college degree? Actually my father is the best Jeweler out there. I am not just saying this cause he is my father. But his engraving skills amaze anyone who sees it. He has been making jewelry since he was 11 years old. And is just amazing at what he does. But due to some horrible circumstances, and events and the fact that Brazilians can't afford jewelry in Brazil. He could not work in this field, forcing him to do everything else in the book. AND I MEAN EVERYTHING. 

Anyways... The Lord brought us to the US when I was 12 years old, and my dad was able to work with what he was gifted with. Coming here with NOTHING but 3 suitcases, we had an entire life to start from scratch. 

Living so close to Disney World, it was their dream to take us there. They spent the first year of their US lives saving for this ridiculously expensive dream come true. And on Dec, 24th 1997 we went to Disney. Hoping that our first Christmas away from all of our loved ones, and dollar store gifts would be a little better if we spent it there. Along with the enormous lines at the rides, and people speaking every language under the sun. That is a day I will never forget, We were the first ones in the park that day, and the last ones out. My dad wanted to document every memory, so he bought a video camera at a yard sale.

I am pretty sure this is the exact model.

He carried this beast, everywhere. Video taped every parade, and smile on his girls face that day. 

We also could not afford to eat or buy anything else in the park, so my mother dragged this cooler around.

Also from a yard sale, notice there are no wheels on that baby. We solved that... 

Strap it on to this little baby and your set. This cooler had water, sandwiches, juice, snacks. Bottles of milk for my sister, candy, now that I think of it. It was almost like the bread and fish that fed a thousand. We never ran out of food. 

We watched the fireworks, and from the corner of my eyes I watched my parents cry. At that time I though it was because of Disney World. NOW I know better, they were crying because at the ages of 30 and 33 they left everything behinde to give their children a chance to a better life, they cried because they missed their parents, and siblings back in Brazil, they cried because through honest hard work they made the dreams of 3 little girls come true, they cried because of the unknown scary future of wondering if moving here was the right thing to do.  (excuse me while I go ball my eyes out)  

***** 5 MIN LATER*****

Last year when we received our tax returns, in an envelope I put aside a small fortune to make the dreams of 2 little kids come true, once again. 

And 14 years almost to the day, we took Spencer and Stephanie, my own kids to Disney world. My mom went with us. And while watching the parade and fire works. I cried once again, and watched my mother cry. I cried of gratitude, because if it were not for that great sacrifice that my 2 loving parents made 15 years ago. I would not be the person I am, I would not have the husband and life that I have. And most of all, I would not have seen the sparkle in my daughters eyes, as she looked in pure amazement at the princesses. I would not have carried my tiny little princess passed out of pure exhaustion in my arms. My mother cried... because she remembered that day, and all that she was feeling, and now she knew it was all worth it. To be able to see her grand kids dream come true. She was able to see how far they have come, how much they have endured. And it was all worth it. 

Mother... Words will never be enough to say how thankful I am for your unselfish decision many years ago, that has changed my life forever. I love you, and wish I could be half the mother you are, some day.

In this moment we were getting ready to leave, when Stephanie started balling. And with every fiber of her little soul said... "Mommy, I wanna do that agaaaaiiinnnn, puizzzz. Mommy!!! I wanna see that again. Puizzz mommy. Just one mooor tsime. PUIZZZ!!!" 

Soooo, guess what we are doing with this year's tax return?

Knowing all the sacrifices that were made, and how far we've come, how hard it was. Allowing my children to still believe in a fairy tale world, to witness their eyes sparkle, and their little hearts skip a beat, because of some make believe character. I will do my best for it to last as long as possible... And that is one of the best things in Life....

My baby...

Do you see that super sized pumpkin, in the middle?

YES! Believe it or not that is my 6th month old. sniff sniff

Isn't she just full of yummyness, that makes your hear melt? 

These little girls are 1/2 of my heart that picked up and decided to hover around the earth.

Oh there!!!! Now in this picture is my whole heart that walks outside of me. (I might even share some love with that man in the back there, then again... maybe not) 

Annabelle fits right in our family. For the past 6 and 1/2 months she has molded our lives just enough to drive everyone madly in love with her. 

Here are some facts about our little chummy girl. 

Belle is in the 98% in height, and 95% for weight. And has been since she was 2 months old. Right now she is  29 inches long, and 19.5 pounds.

She nursed the longest of them all for 5 months, which for me it's amazing. 

She is allergic to something in formula, so we do soy formula. 

She has this really deep, so sweet, sometimes stinky fat crease roll on her left leg. 

 She has 2 teeth, that came through this weekend. (that was fun)

She started sleeping through the night at 6 months, only after I put her in her own room in the pitch dark room.

She has crazy wild curly long hair.  AND I LOVE IT.

She will crinkle her nose and breath heavy with her nose, when she is happy.

She started eating solids, and her favorite is BANANA, but she will eat anything you send her way.

She learned to sit down like a big girl, about 2 weeks ago right at 6 months. 

This little girl went on a crazy road trip out to UTAH, in 2 days... and did amazing when she was only 4 months old.

P.S. This post should have been posted before the last one, so for updates read the previous post. 

Get it together woman!!!!

I am so disappointed at myself, it makes no sense to me why I can't just get this blog going again.
Maybe it's because... this historic lap top I have is dying. I can't load up photos anymore, it takes forever to turn it on, it has to be plugged into the wall at ALL times. (so really its a table top, since it sits on top of the table all day) And my husband finally cleared the 2 thousand viruses I downloaded a few months ago...

*P.S. when your computer asks if it's okay to open or load a certain thing... read it before clicking yes. Even if you're in the middle of something and 10 thousand little windows pop up, Its not cool to just push yes!

My kids are getting so big, It's sad, and exciting. They are all in different stages of life, and my life well... I don't know where it is. HAHA... No really, what is a 27 year old woman doing these days?

I love every bit of it.
Hard? YES!!!
Crazy? SOMETIMES!!!
Boring? NEVER

I campaigned and got the best calling in the ward. I teach Relief Society, once a month, for one hour, out of the manual. AWESOME... But really, I love it. I am learning so much. I also love having real answers to my questions. Not just the standard youth answers that I have had from being in young women for last 10 years... Read your scriptures, go to church, pray. We get into some interesting topics, and I love the hand outs, and to make it all cute-n-stuff.

I also am looking for something to do, besides cleaning, cooking, feeding, changing, teaching, screaming, laughing, crying. I got those down, baby!!! And if you're wondering, that's what it takes to be a mother these days.

I am not sure if I want to bring my scrap booking mess out,  or if I want to take on a whole new hobby. But one thing I am sure of is... I need something. Life has been interesting, bumpy, and busy. I am falling in love with my husband all over again. And that is awesome! I never stopped loving the man, but he became more of a helper than a lover in  the last few months. That's right... you heard me. L-O-V-E-R... It's important you know. We are dating again, Sneaking out when the kids are napping to watch a movie upstairs, we are playing games with one another, and not including the children in ALL that we do. We are being silly, laughing when we shouldn't, playing footsie under the table. When was the last time you played footsie with your husband in public? 

Heck we are abandoning the kids for a whole week in March, and going on a cruise! Thank goodness for MY mom. Who knows that we need it. It's been 9 years since we met. Almost a decade! And so much has changed, but one thing we know cannot change, is our love for one another. And sometimes... We just need to work at it.

The kids... well!!! we do our best.

Spencer is a little boy! He says things that shouldn't be said. Like... pardon my FRENCH  "Oh!!! my nuts." SERIOUSLY. WHO TAUGHT HIM THAT? He also is fascinated by the sounds he can make with his body. LETS GET ONE THING STRAIGHT... We do not burp in front of others in my house, much less "toot" around anyone else. So where did get the idea that he can do it and then say "excuse me", and think that he wont end up in time out? SCHOOL??? grows. He is a growing little boy, he eats all day, and is thin as a tooth pick. Wish I could do that, I think of food and gain a pound. He is doing great at school. His teacher is always complimenting on how smart and well mannered he is. He is also reading a few things, and is extremely responsible with his school stuff.

Stephanie, is our little princess. Everything she does is girly, she is delicate, petite, and vain.  She is very affectionate, and sensitive. She is a picky eater, but eats everything as long as you demand her to. She loves dolls, and barbies, and shoes. She has to have her nails painted. Do not let her see make up, she will go crazy. She is amazingly smart, she is not even 3 yet, and does not go to pre-school but she can recognize all her colors, and many of the letters. She is also a great little helper, always does what I ask.

Annabelle, is my biggest baby yet. I sit in wonders at how tall and gigantic this child is. She is a very good eater. She can sit, clap, roll over when she wants, she scoots all over the floor. She waives bye bye and she can nod her head NO!. Smiles all the time. She will give kisses, by opening her mouth as wide as it gets, pressing it against your cheek and nodding her head sideways saying AW- AW-AW!  She just refuses to do it, in front of a camera. She was also my first baby who's first word was mama. She sleeps through the night and many days sleeps in until 8:30.

Borja!? Well he is as busy as always. He is working full time, he is going to school part time. And will be done with classes this summer. Having only his dissertation to finish. He also gives flying lessons for fun, still a counselor at church, and has given up soda, Which believe or not has been the hardest thing to do this year.

Well, we have our ups and downs. But overall I think we are doing okay, Taking on life a day at a time, praying through difficult times. And trying to cherish every moment we have with our very small and  demanding bunch of children, which will only increase for a few more years.